Aunt x3

My sister-in-law has been expecting twins, and went into labor this afternoon.
Knowing full well his sister was going to give birth sometime in the next month, my husband committed himself a month long play at our local theatre. Hairspray. He's not IN the play, he's playing the drums for it. The only bad part about this is that for the next few weeks, he's going to be at practice, and then at the play, for 3 days a week, for 4 hours a day. My loneliness is going to go up threefold. I have the option of going with him and sitting for 3 hours while they work on the play, but that doesn't really interest me. I don't care for musicals, and I really don't want to hear Hairspray 30 times either.
Now is when I wish we weren't 5 hours away from our family. At the same time, I know that after getting her labor stopped and performing a c-section, the babies are premature, and will spend a few weeks in the NiCU.

When my sister-in-law gave birth to my niece, I cried. I refused to go in to see the baby. Mind you, I wasn't really part of the family yet, my now husband and I were still just dating at this point, and I felt awkward. I watched him and his brother welcoming in their niece and I became flooded with emotions of jealousy.
Not of having my own child, but of having a niece.
When my only brother took his tumble and "went to be with the Lord" as they say, a less brutal way of saying "he died", I lost my chance to be an aunt.

I had gone to the hospital to wait for the baby to be born to be supportive of my husband, but I didn't want to just assume we were going to be together forever and act like I was the Aunt.

For 2 weeks I didn't hold her. I didn't want to take away from the family's time with their new addition. I would instead just watch him hold the child and look so amazing, and look so amazed to be an Uncle.
After finally being coerced into it by everyone, I held her, and for the first time ever, experienced the awesomeness that is holding a newborn.

It was then that I felt like my internal clock started. Sure, I had thought about it before I met my husband, but for years I knew it was not a possibility... college was my priority.

When I came into the picture his sister was about 6 months pregnant. It was always awkward between her and I (still kind of is, 3 years later). I immediately fell into the position of Aunt when we got engaged... I felt like I could assume that role in her life, and be called that (even though she was just a baby who didn't understand that her Mumma was calling me "Aunt"). I love her cute little face so much.

Now I have 2 nephews merely hours from being brought into the world, and although I know it's not really my fault, we're still without a child. We've been waiting for my body to regulate and it won't. Next month if I don't get back to normal I get to go to the doctor. It's so frustrating to see the look of disappointment in his eyes that we're not able to conceive yet. I know holding his nephews is going to be bittersweet... that he's going to hold their little hands and wish we were holding our baby. She will have 3 and we don't even have 1 yet. I hope that before my brother-in-law gets married and has a baby we'll have our own... but, you never know. :(

Regardless, I'm so excited and ready to be an aunt to 2 bouncing twin boys... I might steal one. ^__^