They say everything happens for a reason... that's the secular way of saying that God's got a plan.
Sometimes it takes time to realize what that plan is, and whether or not you like it. Once you figure it out, though, it's a breakthrough that really puts you at ease with it - even if you don't really like it.
If you read this blog, a little while back (2 weeks maybe?) I was hastily kicked off of a forum of pastor's wives for doing the same bad behavior one of the moderators did. At the time I was hurt... now? I actually feel more positive than I have since I had joined it. Part of this might have something to do with feeling more comfortable now at our church, but I think a lot of it is that I don't have to watch my back all the damn time. I don't have to worry that I might offend someone with a post, go back and edit it, or worry about one of the moderators editing because I said "crappy". GET OFF IT, seriously? Crappy? But "poopy" is ok? It all means SHITTY in the end, and isn't that what the Bible speaks about, intent?
Since my departure from that forum, I've figured things out on my own, and I don't feel the burden all the time of hearing about ailments in those ladies life. It weighed on me so heavy, not to be selfish, but I've always been empathetic... and now, well, I feel like I can BE MY FREAKING SELF.
People are just so uptight. Since when did being a Christian mean your sense of humor goes out the window? Why did we as Christians create this mold that we all must fit in? Sure, the Bible gives us guidance on how to live, but it doesn't tell us anything about our personalities being raped from us. God MADE me this way. I am not tainted. I am myself. And I'm beginning to embrace that....
This post was a little ranty, but I just finally feel good about myself for the first time in a long time, and as helpful as some of those other pastor's wives were, I never felt like I belonged. Getting kicked off of the forum was merely just proof that a lot of Christians are judgmental and some of them are very discriminatory. Guess what, Jesus loves all his children... even me.
^__^
